It has been a while. I went through a rough patch last year and I basically disconnected myself from a lot of things. I am a senior now and it is time for prom.
Let me start by saying I have never really had a date to a dance. The only time I did he ignored me the entire time. He would dance with everyone but me so I don't really count it.
Last year my boyfriend at the time, I believe I have called him Clyde on here, was suppose to take me to prom. His mom the day before prom right before I bought tickets decided he was no longer allowed to go. I went with my mom as my date. My parents bought me a corsage and I went to the dance. It was fun but I just wanted a dance partner. Or even a buddy to walk around with.
Well its that time of year again and guess what. I don't have a date. So I have decided not to go. I don't see the point. I asked friends to take me but to no avail. And honestly not having a date just makes me feel awful about myself. Some girls have the confidence to pull it off for two years but I just don't. Its just confirms that I will grow up to be a lonely cat lady in NYC.
Tonight I finally got to see "The Imitation Game" with Bennedict Cumberbatch. In the film he talks about a game where a judge asks questions and a subject answers them. Then the judge judges them. So I am going to do that now but slightly different. I will ask the questions and you all will judge me by what I have said, what I have previously said in blogs, and the questions I ask.
Am I that repulsive that boys don't want to dance with me? Am I that awful? Is it because I have so little confidence half the time or is it because I am too cocky? I can't seem to find the happy medium here. I just feel like I can't win here. I will be sad if I go and I will be sad if I don't go. I'm not sure what to do. AndI'm not sure how to fix myself so I am not so repulsive.
Now it is your turn. Have fun Wonderlanders.
TTFN
Positively Alice
No comments:
Post a Comment