Bombshell

Jambo Wonderlanders!!!

I want to start off todays blog with apologizing for being such a terrible blogger. First off I very rarely ever blog and when I do its normally sad and depressing, which no one ever wants to read. But the thing is, is that thats my life. Its sucky and I feel like there is nothing I can do to fix it.

I have tried changing who I am to try to fit in and I cant live a double life like that anymore. I must be true to myself.

Everyone needs to be true to yourself. Forget everyone else. And think about you. Me, myself and I. And today I did just that.

About a month ago, I was given the opportunity to volunteer to perform at an Arts Festival. I did and today (well yesterday because its past midnight) was that day.

I sang a duet with my friend Patrice. The songs had to be songs from the fifties but we were able to bend the rules a bit because we sang Let Me Be Your Star from Smash because we were dressed as Marilyn Monroe.

Yes, I got to be Marilyn Monroe and I freaking loved every single minute of it! Some of the kids from Suessical, the show that I auditioned for and blogged about a while ago, just happened to be there. I went up to them and said hello and tried to be friendly but they were not having it. Normally I would let this bother me but today I didn't. I just kept going and I sang the hell out of my song and rocked it!! It was the best I have ever sang.

I was able to shake it off and keep going.

On Smash tonight the show Bombshell started its previews on broadway and being able to sing the theme song for that show as Marilyn the night it premired made me smile.

I feel like Marilyn helped me get through today. Helped me shake off the jerky comments from the Suessical kids and keep going.
 So thank you Marilyn.

I tried to make tonights blogs happy and inspirational. It didn't work well but I'm still learning.
Well TTFN,
Alice

It's a hard knock life

Well life sucks once again. It always seems to get better for a small period of time and then suck more than it did before. But it always happens to me. You would think I would be used to it by now but I'm not. It's never easy being in fights with friend or even losing a friend for that matter.
I always wonder what is wrong with me? Why can't I ever stay friends with anyone? Am I that horrible? And honestly I have no idea. Whenever someone is mad at me they never tell me.
It's reasons like this that I love theatre. I can escape this terrible world we live in, all the bullies, the terrifying nightmare that I live, and be someone totally different from myself. It's amazing that there is somewhere I can do that.
Maybe that's why it's been harder than normal this time around, because I'm not in a show.
This blog is probably horribly written and I apologize but I had to get my thoughts out.
But as of right now right quote is life sucks and them you die and this is because that is how I feel. I just want a friend. Is that too much to ask? Apparently it is but there is nothing I can do about it. Sorry for the depressing post.
TTFN
Alice

P.s. in my next blog I will talk about my summer for this year!