Inception

Is it possible for someone to plant an idea in your head and it grows?

For example: My friend Victoria over the summer told me that my friend Jake and I would make a cute couple.

I pondered on this idea for a little bit and thought it would be funny because it would be the Finn and Rachel relationship. Jake and I are both in theatre but he also plays football.
I laughed at the idea and said he would never go for a girl like me. Well summer passed and it was around Christmas time. We were at rehearsal for our Arts department Christmas Show called Holiday Spectacular. Now Jake can be a very immature guy, when he is around his friend but what guy isn't, and I know this about him. But I started to notice that he would change every time he was around me. Even if his friends were around. He would become this charming gentlemen. He would be so down to earth and personal with me but not the friend zone kind of thing. I just went with the flow and didn't much of it till recently at children's show rehearsal.

My friend Phoebe and I are playing twins in the children's show and Jake is playing our father. I was talking to my friend Phoebe about what Victoria had said and she joked with me about it. Yesterday at rehearsal I looked at Jake in a different way. I felt something different. But again I just brushed it off and kept rehearsing.

Tonight at rehearsal I was doing Jake's hair and he was freaking out because my friend Catey was trying to straighten his hair. When she was done he was so embarrassed and I could tell he was uncomfortable so I was trying to make him laugh. He started telling me how he was scared that his team mates would see him and that they would make fun of him. I said to him, "I understand. I have been uncomfortable about costumes and hair and makeup too. This one time I stopped eating because I was so uncomfortable about a costume." And he said,"Last year for football, I had to drop 20 pounds just so I could play." I replied,"I dropped 30 pounds in one week because I had stopped eating and worked out so hard, and with stress all because I was uncomfortable with a costume and the costumer wouldn't listen to me." He looked at me for a second with a very sad and shocked look on his face and just gave me a big hug.

And thats when I realized it... I think I like Jake. Not just as a friend. I got butterflies in my stomach when I hugged him.

Could what Victoria said over the summer been part of the influence to make me feel this way? I'm not even positive I do like him or if it is just because of what Victoria said.

I will continue the story later and will tell my next boy drama story later. TTFN
Alice

P.S. I finally figured it out. I don't like him. Or if I did, it passed by quick!!! My real crush is my next blog.

A Little Bit About Me

I have never done this before and have never thought to start a blog. But I was inspired by my friend Pheobe, who also has a blog:  http://pheobephenix.blogspot.com/   Check it out.  

Anyway, my name is Alice. I am not your normal/average teenager but to be honest I'm not sure what normal/average really mean is this case. But now for the real story.

When I was just four years of age my brother was arrested and put on Virginia's Death Row. He was falsely accused. I did not know what was going on at the time. I was told that my brother went away to college. Then as I got older I was told he was in jail and eventually at the age of 10 found out that the government wanted to kill my brother for something he didn't do. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone, which was difficult. There were times when the kids my age would complain about some simple thing and it would annoy me and I would just want to scream in their face, "At least the government doesn't want to kill your brother!" I am 16 now and everything is much harder. Last year I was finally allowed to post things on Facebook and Twitter, I could tell my friends. My mom spoke at my church Youth Group about my family and most of my friends couldn't even talk to me immediately after the event. They didn't know how to respond. They talk to me now, well some of them do but all of my friends have come and gone. Life has not been the easiest for me and I feel like it will only get harder. But people will tell me differently. 

I have always had trouble making and keeping friends. I was always that girl who was too mature for everyone else. I was different. I was the girl who loved theatre. I went to two different elementary schools because the bullying was so horrible and I was in Catholic school. Middle School was the worst. People would call me names due to the thing that I like such as Disney. I would come home and just cry all the time because of how mean some people were to me. I lost my best friends in the entire world in middle school and she still won't talk to me. I had to leave half way through 8th grade year because of bullying. In high school I was the first freshmen girl in twelve years to make it in to the top show choir but I ended being the outcast of the group. My classmates would tell me that I didn't belong. The our teacher never should have put me in the choir. I wanted to quit but I stuck with it. I'm still having some issues fitting in but they aren't as bad as last year. 

My life has been a living hell the past few years. Between school and my brother's up and down roller coaster, I'm surprised I haven't given up on life. I feel like I have been through everything and it sucks. 

This first blog ended being longer than I had intended but that's ok. I just wanted everyone to get the idea.  Its a nice start. I will tell more in depth stories about trying to live the life God gave me in later blogs. TTFN 

Positively Alice